I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Randomize
