help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
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