how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
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