ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
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