im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
