I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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