that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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