I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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