Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
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