Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
