CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
