So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize