so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
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he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
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Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
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