i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
