He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
