You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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