people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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