yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
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