At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
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