he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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