Well douche your snatch and let's go!
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
