you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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