Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize