I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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