I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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