That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize