I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
