My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
