Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
