We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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