very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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