after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Randomize
