I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
