Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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