Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Randomize
