can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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