just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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