David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
