Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  never. drinking. again.

  (1-705): View more from Ontario

  lets not get ahead of ourselves.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (705): never. drinking. again. (1-705): lets not get ahead of ourselves. http://tfl.nu/le2c
  Replies (36) Good night (5221) Bad night (844)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (845): u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap http://tfl.nu/abw0
  Replies (36) Good night (5150) Bad night (924)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (281): I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness... http://tfl.nu/ikgx
  Replies (21) Good night (1091) Bad night (5693)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked http://tfl.nu/576t
  Replies (31) Good night (847) Bad night (9880)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull. http://tfl.nu/uent
  Replies (16) Good night (4044) Bad night (1052)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist. http://tfl.nu/2uj6
  Replies (35) Good night (1262) Bad night (4455)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking. http://tfl.nu/g0q9
  Replies (2) Good night (2689) Bad night (734)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  ... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (816): ... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night. (314): I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it. http://tfl.nu/jfox
  Replies (7) Good night (4231) Bad night (895)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (828): Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog. http://tfl.nu/3nqo
  Replies (4) Good night (2158) Bad night (780)
• Favorite

  (276): View more from Virginia

  That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (276): That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go. http://tfl.nu/61yn
  Replies (3) Good night (421) Bad night (1265)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.

  (1-607): View more from New York

  Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid. (1-607): Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late. http://tfl.nu/e8gd
  Replies (8) Good night (1892) Bad night (691)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels. http://tfl.nu/n1cw
  Replies (2) Good night (1047) Bad night (210)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch. http://tfl.nu/utw7
  Replies (0) Good night (550) Bad night (311)
• Favorite

  (607): View more from New York

  WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (607): WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!" http://tfl.nu/33ys
  Replies (5) Good night (343) Bad night (615)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome. http://tfl.nu/oir7
  Replies (3) Good night (381) Bad night (293)

Randomize