Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.

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  (202): Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed. http://tfl.nu/1ylc
  Replies (3) Good night (748) Bad night (1244)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.

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  (919): I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen. http://tfl.nu/75lv
  Replies (32) Good night (1485) Bad night (2968)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.

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  (248): New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people. http://tfl.nu/cghq
  Replies (126) Good night (17264) Bad night (2274)
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  (450): View more from Quebec

  Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.

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  (450): Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting. http://tfl.nu/m2ej
  Replies (11) Good night (4436) Bad night (727)
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  (845): View more from New York

  They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.

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  (845): They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory. http://tfl.nu/jr9q
  Replies (7) Good night (1210) Bad night (3685)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.

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  (432): Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know. http://tfl.nu/dusl
  Replies (5) Good night (1379) Bad night (2876)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.

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  (617): I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny. http://tfl.nu/fr7i
  Replies (10) Good night (1068) Bad night (2374)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.

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  (401): Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face. http://tfl.nu/dfnt
  Replies (13) Good night (2509) Bad night (1026)
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  (575): View more from New Mexico

  I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"

  (575): View more from New Mexico

  Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.

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  (575): I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here" (575): Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life. http://tfl.nu/q6db
  Replies (9) Good night (2308) Bad night (807)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You almost married that.

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  (412): Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower. (1-412): You almost married that. http://tfl.nu/nlo1
  Replies (7) Good night (2527) Bad night (934)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.

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  (949): I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night. http://tfl.nu/qme4
  Replies (9) Good night (1409) Bad night (602)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.

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  (720): I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer. http://tfl.nu/jm0p
  Replies (7) Good night (491) Bad night (1195)
• Favorite

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?

  (315): View more from New York

  Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.

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  (202): Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse? (315): Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance. http://tfl.nu/q51f
  Replies (2) Good night (918) Bad night (355)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'

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  (702): Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me' http://tfl.nu/i2h1
  Replies (4) Good night (1128) Bad night (385)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.

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  (574): I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it. http://tfl.nu/5b4k
  Replies (4) Good night (544) Bad night (683)

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