oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Canadian or clown?
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.