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• (423): View more from Tennessee

  I realized as I was wesiging my engamemby ring that you'd never love me tha same. I have life plans and Sam showed them to me

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  What? You're not speaking real words.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat

  (1-503): View more from Oregon

  Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.

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• (619): View more from California

  Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.

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  21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn

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• (815): View more from Illinois

  It would be one hovered percent delicioui

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• (507): View more from Minnesota

  currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.

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• (314): View more from Missouri

  This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.

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• (928): View more from Arizona

  I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.

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• (252): View more from North Carolina

  He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.

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  19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”

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• (818): View more from California

  I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!

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• (404): View more from Georgia

  Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman

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• (716): View more from New York

  Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits

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