Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks

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  (704): you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks http://tfl.nu/c3vj
  Replies (49) Good night (4442) Bad night (1187)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.

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  (770): i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles. http://tfl.nu/d3lp
  Replies (7) Good night (2861) Bad night (1173)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.

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  (503): if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up. http://tfl.nu/w9vg
  Replies (26) Good night (1166) Bad night (6587)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.

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  (330): I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face. http://tfl.nu/5edg
  Replies (7) Good night (3682) Bad night (1550)
• Favorite

  (862): View more from New Jersey

  dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off

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  (862): dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off http://tfl.nu/s9m5
  Replies (4) Good night (2566) Bad night (1055)
• Favorite

  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom

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  (715): He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom http://tfl.nu/gly6
  Replies (3) Good night (1895) Bad night (1112)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...

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  (646): I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies... http://tfl.nu/y6hf
  Replies (8) Good night (1836) Bad night (566)
• Favorite

  (217): View more from Illinois

  i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home

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  (217): i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home http://tfl.nu/a1xk
  Replies (3) Good night (880) Bad night (398)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.

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  (804): Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me. http://tfl.nu/bct9
  Replies (4) Good night (1157) Bad night (387)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...

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  (908): Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night... http://tfl.nu/qo8t
  Replies (5) Good night (1047) Bad night (542)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?

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  (479): I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense? http://tfl.nu/pnqf
  Replies (3) Good night (869) Bad night (336)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?

  (1-317): View more from Indiana

  Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.

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  (317): Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here? (1-317): Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0. http://tfl.nu/u5j4
  Replies (1) Good night (327) Bad night (704)
• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...

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  (480): Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch... http://tfl.nu/farg
  Replies (4) Good night (275) Bad night (684)
• Favorite

  (787): View more from Puerto Rico

  Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood

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  (787): Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood http://tfl.nu/bkre
  Replies (1) Good night (363) Bad night (216)
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Umm

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  No idea. I blame fireball.

  (1-412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Valid.

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  (412): Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway. (1-412): Umm (412): No idea. I blame fireball. (1-412): Valid. http://tfl.nu/n14x
  Replies (1) Good night (436) Bad night (198)

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