im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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