lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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