Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I mean I feel like if you explain to the emoji app company that your friend got plastered and fell to the ground and is trying to scheme her way back to normal life and get her dignity back they would understand just how necessary it is to have a fingers crossed emoji...
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Randomize
