The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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