Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
