420 ftw
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
