I swear god or herbie drove my car home
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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