are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
