Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
