all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
