Are we in a gay sports bar?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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