Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
being pregnant is like rehab
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Randomize
