I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
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I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize