if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
he told me I talked like a deaf person
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
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