you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I didn't notice because vodka
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
