Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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