Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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