How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
