you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
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