Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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