My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
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I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
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It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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