the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
Randomize
