Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
