How drunk are you??
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties