ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
Randomize
