Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.