thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
The Internet Is Obsessed With This Stripper Who Dropped It Low Just To Eat A Slice Of Pizza
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick