porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
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