I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize