In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
19 Cringe-worthy Bachelorette Party Texts
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
The 23 Worst Things That Have Happened After a One Night Stand
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.