You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
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I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
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we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet