yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
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