So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
